January 16th, 2004

Ponderings of a Forum Troll

Meh. I could go into my personal life on this sucker, but fuck it. There isn't anything worth talking about in it.

Just for reference, my days do something like this.

Step 1: Wake up.

Step 2: Go to class, return.

Step 3: Do housework.

Step 4: Spend about 4-8 hours on comp

Step 5: Sleep.

So we don't have to worry about that.

Now, that's 4-8 hours a day on the computer. And that's where my life actually holds some meaning.

Whassat? Why don't I have a social life? Because everybody in my school who doesn't spend all their time on the computer as well usually has some sort of chemical addiction. So the Internet is all I have.

It's been this way for a few years.

I've spent about 5 years on the Internet now, using the exact same goddamn name. Just go on Google. It's all me. All of it. 'cept that one site on IGN that's in French. I have no clue who that guy is. I think I might just track him down some day and smack him in the back of the head for using my name.

But anyway. If furries are truly animals, I'm truly a piece of software. I've decided. Really, I can almost write coding for my decision-making process, and I'm fairly damned predictable.

For a bit of psycho babble, Banjooie itself comes from Banjo-Kazooie. A male and female character. Thus, gender neutral. Thalamasa has Thalamos, etc, and the Neo Vanists are in the middle ground in terms of femininity.

But what's weird is this. No matter where I go online, I end up being a -service-. It's fucking bizarre. FF3.com had its Zanyashi. Nobody really paid attention, but he wasn't a person either. His job was to start the flamewars that kept everyone's attention on him instead of flaming each other. 's where I got my whole lightning rod effect from.

Pewter City? I drove away Brock. I dunno whether that was right or not, but it was the first time I destroyed a website. Yeah, these aren't necessarily in chronological order. I care not.

Shoujoai MUSH, I became the newbie filter. What I did was basically keep stupid people out, and keep people from doing stupid things. I once went on a date with somebody, who was telling me how hard it was to think of me as a person and not an icon. And I'd heard this a few times.

The PokeMUCK I left too early, but I was pretty blatantly headed to being the admin watchdog and newbie filter. Since Michael there was an absolute fuckwit, Alynna, well, Alynna left, because, um, I was dead. Or something. I really never understood her.

8-bit MUSH was ironic, because they always accused people of being spies for other MUSHes. And I actually use their code elsewhere. It's great. And I had time to warn of MUSH attacks.

I wanna avoid that sort of deal, which is probably the non-Renee related reason I don't go over to Shoreside. Hell, I've got no reason to hate her anymore.

So yeah. I have a marked tendency to become a service that nobody really worries about. Call it a martyr tendency if you will, but it's something that happens to me without my intentional guidance.

's funny, though. Being a forum troll. Any idiot can just flame rampantly and troll forums. That's not, in my mind, being a forum troll. I do it for a reason. Why would you wanna start a flamewar up, besides shits 'n giggles? I'll tell you. Some flamewars stop easier than others. Using an easy example, if you've got a set of flames brewing between two people that's gonna last months, you can become the problem with whatever issue you bring up. Hopefully, when that gets resolved, the original problem is forgotten. It works.

But here's the thing. To do it successfully, you can't piss off one entire group at once. By that I mean you can't bash all Christians, all Wiccans, all furries, etc. If you do, you're guaranteed to hit the wrong target sometimes, and fuck up. What does this mean? This means you can't dislike people for being in a specific group. 's why I don't mind being on Furcadia, 's why I don't mind furries in general. Even the yiffy ones. Quite simply, there are too many of them for me to hate them as a general group.

Does this mean I sympathize with KKK people? No. I can dislike them individually as I come to them, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go 'omg you're in KKK'. Occasionally, there are misguided fuckwits who just go along with it because they think it's a good idea. I can flame those people individually, and there simply aren't enough for me to worry about it most of the time.

Back on topic, if this ramble even has one, it's hard to mock people properly if you're avoiding basic 'haha you're a furry' type deals. I mean, I'm far beyond homosexual jokes. I went to a lesbian MUSH. That's just not happening. In fact, I can only really yell at people for specific stupid acts. This means, essentially, that I end up seeing the good in just about everybody. Because I strive to insult them more effectively. Does it mean I avoid flaming people because I see the good in them? No. Yay for double layers of irony.

If anyone someday ever decides to take up my line of work for some god-forsaken reason, realize you'll probably end up coming out with respect for just about everybody. That's what makes it hard, when you -don't- hate the person and you still have to bitchsmack 'em. So I guess I can make this 'How to troll for reasons besides personal amusement'. I probably won't, but, y'know.